The last time I blogged was in January. I posted the horrifying ultrasound image of my massive dermoid cyst on my right ovary. The title was “Are You Here to See a Baby?”. All I can say now, is for the many times I have said or been told “no” when it came to conceiving another child, He (God) answers with a resounding YES. Why did I ever waste my time listening to any other voice?
Let me explain…
If you didn’t know the history of what happened in the last 6 months and you don’t want to read the previous post about it, the short story is this: I went in early December to get a prescription from my doctor for Clomid, the drug that helped us conceive Ellie after many months of trying naturally. She agreed to prescribe it but did a quick ultrasound and saw a massive cyst on my right ovary. After about 6 weeks of monitoring it, it had not gotten any smaller and it was determined I would need surgery to remove it. In removing it, I would lose my right ovary and right tube. There was no healthy tissue to save. In the midst of those appointments, God even sent me an actual ANGEL to the doctors office to tell me it was going to be okay and that HE was in control. The miracle did not come in the form of the cyst just disappearing. I still had the surgery, still lost my ovary and tube, and still had to wait to heal to even think about trying to conceive again. In the time following this, I was told by 2 separate doctors that I was essentially not going to conceive…or at least not any time soon. The first was an OB/GYN who had his nurse call me to relay this message when I had a question about my cycle, “Obviously her body is not able to support a pregnancy right now. Have her call back in a month if she wants an appointment.” Then, I saw an urgent care doctor for what felt like a UTI. I told her I thought I might be pregnant but just not far enough along for a positive test yet (I was). She told me, “I don’t know why you think you could be pregnant. You only have one ovary. That like cuts your chances in half” I told her that the doctor who did my surgery gave me a different prognosis but she stuck to her opinion. I was floored. 3 days later I had a positive test. You’d better believe I called that office and spoke to a manager and said my peace about that one!
If it doesn’t already sound like a miracle that I conceived the same month I was told these things, let me make it even clearer. I had TWO ovaries and still needed medication to conceive Ellie. I had that prescription for Clomid in hand ready to take the second my period came in May. It NEVER came. I took a test thinking it would be negative. Ellie was running around the bathroom playing with the test wrapper. Philip was grabbing his keys so we could go pick up our dogs from the boarding kennel. We just wanted to get our fair shot with the Clomid and never anticipated a natural conception the ONE month we stopped preventing pregnancy (because I was still healing from surgery in February, March, and early April). You should’ve heard me yelling for him. Neither of us could believe our eyes. I’ve never been in shock like that. It took a couple weeks for us to even believe it.
My story of how Ellie came to be is an amazing part of my testimony. But this “Lil’ Bit” (as we affectionately call it) has a story too. Against so many odds, God proved Himself mighty yet again in our lives. We cannot even comprehend this goodness. The journey was long in some ways since we thought I’d start the Clomid in December. Weeks of ultrasounds and a surgery and hard recovery followed. But, don’t you see? Without all that, my story would’ve been so different. Sure, a pregnancy is ALWAYS a huge miracle when you think about it. I don’t mean to take away from conception that comes easily or even inadvertently. God is in it ALL. He just chooses to show Himself strong in different ways in each of our lives. It seems He has chosen to show his strength and favor in our lives specifically in the area of our children. So, here I am. Just over 2 years after I shared about Ellie. I am here to say yet again that He will release HIS blessings in HIS timing. Release it to Him and I promise you’ll see that in your own life. Don’t ever give up hope.